If you would seek to find yourself
Look not in a mirror
For there is but a shadow there,
A stranger...

[Silenive, Odes to Truth]

There are certain moments which are filled with magic and whose charm time fails to erase. They keep themselves alive not by being mummified in the memory, but by continually rejuvenating their youth; by emerging again like a phoenix from the lifeless ash. It was such an evening of rebirth.

Every person at one time or another has experienced the anesthesia of roaming aimlessly. The mind is robbed of its cognizance and becomes almost like a tabula rasa, an empty slate, in which stale and fresh thoughts are being written and erased in a constant state of flux. Being jostled here and there, you merge with the crowd and lose your identity, and the world appears to portray Hegel’s unified reality. Such was my condition when I was dragged back to my own self…there she was, the same long, black hair with a prominent tinge of auburn, the same slim physique, the very graceful gait. And although I was some steps away, I felt as if my nostrils could detect the same nuance of perfume which had so tempted me before. Past flooded my sanity and I rushed forward without realizing the absurd impossibility of what I was thinking. I touched her on the shoulder and she immediately turned, and I found myself starring into a puzzled expression on an alien face.
“Yes?” she questioned with surprise and irritation.
“I am sorry,” I gulped, “I thought you were…you were…someone else.”
And as she moved ahead, I stood there in disbelief, like a cliff in a stormy ocean.

Muhammad Awais Aftab

'A thing that is explained ceases to concern us--What did the God mean who gave the advice, "Know thyself!" Did it perhaps imply "Cease to be concerned about thyself! become objective!"-- And Socrates?--And the "scientific man"?'

[Nietzsche]

I wrote this small piece of poetry today:

Wonder

I grieve not that we parted
I had foresaw it was destined
But i do wonder
What you think of me
When you recall those lost, wandering moments
Who was i to you
In the turbulent sea of your existence?
When you gaze back at the your eventful life
What do you see of me?
Was i a lover? A friend?
A time well-spent?
Or perhaps a constant nuisance?
Was i just a dream?
A mere whisper fading out of reality?
Or maybe you have done your best
To purge your thoughts of my shadow
Condemning them to the timeless oblivion
And perchance, you have forgotten
That i even exist?
I do not grieve
Tears do not sojourn in my eyes
But i do wonder
I surely do wonder...

Muhammad Awais Aftab
17-8-06

This is one of my all time favourite poems, and reflects my philosophy of life as well...

To Have Succeeded
Ralph Waldo Emerson

To laugh often and love much
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayel of false friends
To appreciate beauty
To find the best in others
To give one's self
To leave the world a little better
Whether by a healthy child
A garden patch
Or a redeemed social condition
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived...
This is to have succeeded.

Yesterday was my birthday! The birthday went nice but it wasn't the best of the birthdays.
Had a difficult test of Cardiovascular physiology in college. And
after that i went out with a friend, had a good gupshup and ate
Pizza. Coming back at home wrote something [becoming almost a
tradition now. I always write something for myself on my
birthday! :)] And at night i sat on net and was flooded by birthday
wishes. Haven't get much birthday gifts uptil now cause i still have
to give the Birthday treat to my friends. You know, how 'matlabi'
friends are, lol. A friend gave me a book on Evolution and another
gave me a book on Islamic Philosophy. My mother gave me a cool shirt
with some money, and my brother extended his offer of "buy any DVD
you want". :)

And so, i turned 19 in this modest manner.

If you take the test given at this link, it will analyse your answers and tell which religion is most compatible and suitable to your beliefs. [A bit circular, i think, cause beliefs are formed under the influence of some religion!]

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=10907

This was my result:

Agnosticism
92%
Paganism
79%
Islam
67%
Satanism
63%
Judaism
50%
atheism
42%
Buddhism
42%
Hinduism
29%
Christianity
17%

Recently me and my friends, and some girls of my class have been under a horrible assault of humiliation and insult on internet. Certain people with fake ids and profiles have been attacking us indecently on orkut and our class forum. It is very tragic to see such pathetic attempts. And since we don't even know who he [they?] is, we can't even stop him! How can you fight a ghost? A shadow?